whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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