My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize