She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
