You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
