I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
