i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
