I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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