I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
