Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
