well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
