hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
