Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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