dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
