i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
