Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
