my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize