we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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