8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This is the high leading the old right now
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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