And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i think im in europe. pls send help
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
