i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
