Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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