I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
