420 ftw
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
