i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
