Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
