If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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