Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
