I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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