Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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