Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
