Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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