it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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