In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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