Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize