I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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