Tell her she can't have a vagina
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
don't judge my taste in strippers
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
