piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
