can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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