$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
