His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
