do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
