Don't you send me to vm
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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