Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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