Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
