i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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