belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
