everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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