porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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