with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
