i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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