Are we in a gay sports bar?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
