Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
