It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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