Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize