the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
