I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
