Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
