Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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