his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
