Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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