so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
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That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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