I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
