worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize