Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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