I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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